I know to you, it’s probably not all that important.
In a lot of ways, it shouldn’t be.

But for some reason, to me it is.

This right now is my way of letting go of something.

Something I haven’t really told you about-

Something that’ll only concern you if I let it-

And you shouldn’t worry. I won’t let it.

The fact is, it’s nothing you’ve done.
It’s all my problem.
It actually won’t matter if I don’t let it.

And you shouldn’t worry. I won’t let it.

It’s not really real.
It can’t be.

And it’s not good, for anyone.
It’s just a feeling.

It’s a feeling that dominates my brain and makes life just a measure too uncomfortable.

It’s persistent, like a mantra.

Your laugh, your thoughts, your dreams, your smile, your body, your soul…

It’s painful, like a parasite.
It clings to me, twists in me.
It eats at me, burrowing under my skin and spawning more of its kind.

The flaw in you-
The virtue in you-
The puzzle of you-
The beauty of you-
The truth of you-

and I catch a glimpse of God in you.

It’s insistent, like a heartbeat, or a migraine.

It’s a stupid cycle.

And I don’t want it, so I’ll get rid of it.
Either I’ll work it out from under my skin like a guinea worm, or bury it so deep I’ll forget it existed.
It might be easier than I think.

It’ll be gone if I let it.

And you shouldn’t worry.

I’ll let it.

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